Sunday, January 29, 2006

Homeland Security addicted to porn
[To keep you safe, your War On Terror pals both produce and enjoy porn]

Homeland Security bureaucrats just look at pornography all day, a startling new government report suggests.

The terror bureaucracy’s internal computer network logged a staggering 65 million security alerts in just 90 days, according to the study (PDF) released today by Homeland Security Department inspector general Dick Skinner.

The DHS computer network is such an ineptly run mess that it's unknown how many of those 65 million porn alarms are really caused by Homeland Security employees looking at naked pictures.

An expensive network of programs are used to constantly spy on all employee computers, but it all works so poorly that nobody can tell the difference between one cubicle drone looking for "oral sex" pictures or another typing the word "behavioral," Washington Technology reported today.

What is known for sure is that porn alarms are going off at an explosive rate.

In July 2004, for example, the DHS network was logging 5.4 million "security events" per month. Less than a year later, when Inspector Skinner collected information for his investigation, that number had skyrocketed to 21.6 million per month.

The report concludes that Homeland Security has a laughably vulnerable computer network that is pounded by a steady stream of virus and hacker attacks while DHS employees engage in highly unprofessional and dangerous computer activities.

It's just the latest embarrassing scandal for the bloated federal agency. Earlier this month, former attorney general John Ashcroft was caught chasing lucrative Homeland Security contracts for his business clients.

The gold standard of Homeland Security corruption remains GOP Congressman Roy Blunt's incredible stunt of 2003, when he was caught trying to sneak "tobacco-friendly language" into a Homeland Security bill while he was having sex with a lobbyist from tobacco giant Phillip Morris.

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